That Friend: Pandemic Picks

Everybody has “that friend” with the tea on the latest and greatest in beauty, skincare, and other dope products. I’m here to be yours (if you want!) 💖. I’ve amassed my favorites in up and coming brands, tried-and-true legends, and the general bits and bobs getting me through the literal pandemic and potential upcoming civil war. We can all die moisturized, I guess. 🤷‍♀️ This got dark fast… But enjoy!

SKIN

There are so many skincare products in the world and most of us don’t need more of them. But just in case you’re in the market for some fresh face picks, I gotchu. Plus, nearly every single one of them is eco-friendly, food-grade, cruelty-free, vegan, or some combo thereof. It’s your freaking face; treat it right.

clean yo face

THE BRAND: Youth to the People

THE PRODUCT: Superfood Antioxidant Cleanser [sephora]

THE WHY: I have hella dry skin, but I can never turn down a clean green, delightful-smelling, foaming cleanse, and that’s what this is. Legit effective. My dry dry bby’s out there—please immediately follow with serum + moisture.

serums ‘n’ shit

THE BRAND: Inkey List  

THE PRODUCT: Hyaluronic Acid Hydrating Serum [sephora] 

THE WHY: So, if you know The Ordinary, this is that but so much better. Competitive pricing with better quality—there’s no way to go wrong. Their version of a hyaluronic acid serum isn’t sticky (the sticky ones are infuriating, they take forever to absorb and often flake under other layers of moisturizer/foundation). Literally so easy to dab, pat, (add moisturizer) and go on with your glowy ass day.

also

THE BRAND: InnBeauty Project

THE PRODUCT: Slushy [direct]

THE WHY: Think hyaluronic acid serum, but with a splash of other things that are dope for your skin (bakuchiol, yuzu) with a delicious mousse-gel hybrid texture that skin just binge drinks (in the best way).

hydrate, babyyy

THE BRAND: Belif

THE PRODUCT: The True Cream Moisturizing Bomb* [sephora] [direct]

THE WHY: This has the perfect light but not “fragranced” scent that earns me compliments from my partner when they give me cheek kisses, and oddly beloved by my dog. Plus, it does it’s advertised job of providing deep, lasting hydration promptly—no weird “waiting period” where it slowly sinks in.

*oily bby’s please nab the “aqua bomb” version instead!

big guns for winter

THE BRAND: Clinique

THE PRODUCT: Moisture Surge Intense [sephora] [direct]

THE WHY: Winter is dry skin’s ultimate foe—when I lived in MN this was often my daily moisturizer to help fight the woes of indoor (very dry) heating and outdoor (also very dry) winds and freezing temps. TL;DR: this is more effective than a face mask (in my experience)—your skin will thank you thousands of times.

LIPS

I will die on this hill: your lip products are near your mouth—don’t let them contain a buttload of chemicals. But you also deserve incredible, lush lippies—so these are both 😘💋

glossy as a glazed donut

THE BRAND: InnBeauty Project 

THE PRODUCT: Glaze [direct]

THE WHY: Hydration, glossy af, plumping, hint of color. Literally what more could you ask of a lip gloss?! I’m obsessed.

makeout and move on

THE BRAND: Bite Beauty

THE PRODUCT: Outburst Longwear Lip Stain [sephora] [direct]

THE WHY: Sometimes you want to eat a quesadilla and not worry about getting “butthole mouth” (that weird wearing off of color right in the middle of your lips, but the rest stays on the edges in a not-hot way). This lipstick WILL FREAKING STAY. Honestly, you’ll have more of an issue getting it off at night than you will wearing it all day, even through coffees and greasy meals.

the all around bae

THE BRAND: Bite Beauty

THE PRODUCT: Power Move Creamy Matte Lip Crayon [sephora] [direct]

THE WHY: This is made of food-grade materials, aka, if this rubs off on a burger bun and you eat it, don’t stress. Literally not toxic—in fact, it’s pretty dope for the Earth. As an actual lipstick, this is my EVERYTHING. Layers incredibly well, the shape gives so much control over where you’re drawing it on, hydrating—unheard of in a matte lipstick—and the most flawless colors I’ve ever worn. I think I have every single shade.

FACE

Makeup looks are so subjective—so glow according to your style please 🌟 My picks lean minimal coverage because that’s my preferred LEWK, so hmu with other recommendations if you have em. Also, blush. Self explanatory 😂

like your skin but also not (aka light and glowy)

THE BRAND: Glossier

THE PRODUCT: Perfecting Skin Tint [direct]

THE WHY: It’s not eco-friendly AT ALL (which kills me a little inside every time I wear it) but it is complete perfection when it comes to glowy, barely-there foundation that’ll smooth ya out, but is hella light. If you want a green alternative, I’ve heard the most wonderful things about Ilia’s Super Serum Skin Tint (with SPF!!!), but I’ve been holding out for Sephora’s Holiday sale before hitting buy… [sephora].

apples, peaches, the fruity part of your face

THE BRAND: Glossier

THE PRODUCT: Cloud Paint [direct]

THE WHY: It’s the best blush I’ve ever used. Hands down. I can’t get over it. Bright, blendable colors that just work, straight out of the tube. No warming up, no weird shimmer, just perfection to a point that I almost resent it.

EYES

So I haven’t work anything but mascara/brow gel situationally in over a year… But if you wanna rock that above-the-mask-but-still-natural gaze, I gotchu.

not fake lashes, but dope

THE BRAND: MILK Makeup

THE PRODUCT: KUSH High Volumizing Mascara [sephora] [direct]

THE WHY: Recently I got back into mascara (TRYING?! apparently I do know her) and I purchased an ungodly amount of drugstore choices and this new classic. This set the bar and I have yet to find anything that can match or surpass it. Hella dark, lush volume, dope length and hold, comes off well and STAYS (but def not waterproof so get that formula if you’re gonna have a good panic attack wearing it).

bold brows bc masks

THE BRAND: MILK Makeup

THE PRODUCT: KUSH Fiber Brow Gel [sephora] [direct]

THE WHY: Like Glossier’s Boy Brow… but so much better. More colors, more product in the tube, lasts longer. A great bonus that I didn’t realize I needed a year ago: if it just hangs out waiting to be worn for a lil while, it won’t dry out—she’ll still be there for you when you’re ready to venture out looking BOSS again.

LIFE

LIFE IS HARD RN. I light candles and wear perfume on a daily basis and I’m not sure if I remember how to exist without a light cloud of pleasant scents to calm me. Pets are also fantastic coping mechanisms, but make sure you’re ready to commit. The other great way to cope? Pure zen distraction. My preferred method is bad Netflix holiday movies while playing Animal Crossing.

literally my house

THE BRAND: P.F. Candle Co.

THE PRODUCT: Amber & Moss Classic Candle [direct]

THE WHY: I have never smelled anything better than this in my life. It’s lush, warm, fresh, and generally delightful in every sense of the word. Like a hint of manliness, but cleaner and warmer, if that makes any sense at all. It’s just so damn inviting. Warm amber, vanilla, and sandalwood, but just enough mossiness and edge to want to keep inhaling it directly into my body.

the thing that’s distracted me from global disaster

THE BRAND: Nintendo

THE PRODUCT: Switch (but love Switch Lite too!)

THE WHY: My Nintendo Switch is what has staved off insanity and (deeper) depression. Every single day I play Animal Crossing: New Horizons and those adorable lil animal villagers and my custom island bring me daily routines and joy that I really don’t have IRL anymore. THANK YOU, NINTENDO. FWIW, every Pokemon game and Stardew Valley are also incredible, buy them all and lose yourself in a digital world with me.


🌟 HANG IN THERE 🌟

Essay: Mental Health (part 2)

It’s one thing to deal with anxiety, depression, panic, et cetera as a kid. Family can help diffuse the tension, as a college student there are on-campus services that can help. In some ways it’s a lot easier to cope. I mean, everybody knows that school is stressful! Mental health issues as an adult, in the workforce, are another ball game altogether. While no one says to expect less stress when assuming an “adult life”, no one really says anything about all the ways it’s about to get a lot more stigmatized and difficult to deal with. 

So, in all honesty, it doesn’t get better. I’m not trying to be cataclysmic or create undue concern, it’s just the experience I have had. First, insurance providers are straight up BITCHES. Mental health care is really freaking expensive, and a lot of times it’s not covered by insurance. Therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists… they all necessitate a lot of research, a level of “fit”, and accessible pricing. With the increasing number of people seeking out therapy and the like, it would logical to assume insurance coverage of the situation is improving accordingly. Maybe it can be assumed from the “insurance providers are bitches” bit, but guess what—in most cases, they don’t cover that provider! Does it matter who or what I’m talking about? NO. Because it’s that categorically bad. No one is hoping for more people with mental health issues, but maybe that will be what finally causes the breakthroughs in range and amount of coverage. All of this has to be navigated as a young adult, getting an initial job, in an intensely change-heavy period of life.

The changes alone are enough to cause circumstances that require therapy! Alas, that’s not even the tip of the iceberg. Workplaces, at least in the tech industry, are refined machines that chew up employees and spit out their mangled corpses then move on to the next batch. What a cheery view, isn’t it? Take a moment and ask a friend, especially a female or someone from an underrepresented group—do they have a crying room? Have they experienced micro or unfiltered aggression and condescension? Mansplaining is in the global lexicon for a reason. I can personally attest to all of these things. I could write an entire book about my time in tech (and I probably will) and all the wild things that aggravate existing mental health conditions. 

In my case, my mental state worsened and worsened until I burnt out. The thing is, I didn’t recover. And burnout, mounting in severity without respite doesn’t just stay burnout. 

It was mid-April 2019 and I had been working non-stop since the winter holidays. I hadn’t been able to take time off to de-escalate or recover from the break-neck pace of my job. So on a seemingly innocuous day, several hours into meetings and work, I broke. Every semblance of sanity and well-being was shattered. I cried, hyperventilated, lost mental and verbal coherence—like a panic attack that just would not end.

In a brief moment between sobs, I messaged my manager. I informed her that I was acutely burnt out and experiencing what I could only describe as a mental break. Her response was to politely inform me that I could take the rest of the day off—but no more than that, at least for another six weeks.

So there I was. I was given half of a day to recover from the single most traumatic experience of my adult life. Half of a day to recover, without anyone to help. Half of a day to recover before resuming the exact same pace, responsibilities, and any additional work that had gotten backlogged while I shook, uncontrollably, alone. 

There isn’t a happy ending to this story. I got in trouble for the time that I took off that day, and I got in trouble when I broke again, in a foreign country, hours after successfully covering an event. The thing is, I was not able to change the culture, or create a safer space for others. I just got replaced.

Mental illness isn’t curable. This discussion doesn’t have an end. In the meantime, I love you. Try to keep safe.

Lifeline: 1.800.273.8255

Helpline: 1.800.950.6264

Crisis Textline: 741.741 (text “NAMI”)

More resources: nami.org


Essay: Mental Health (part 1)

Mental illness is super real. And it’s only getting “real-er” (as in, more and more people are experiencing anxiety, panic, and depression episodes due to COVID-19 and the effects aren’t just going to go away with a vaccine).

Here are a few facts:

  • Women are twice as likely to be depressed

  • If you have literally any other sort of chronic health condition (i.e. diabetes, cancer, heart disease), your risk usually goes way, way up

  • Anxiety and depression are both usually attributable to an imbalance of serotonin (a chemical naturally occurring inside the brain)

  • The literal financial impact of the American mental health crisis is over $200 BILLION in lost wages alone every year

So let’s talk about it. I’ll start.

Shit hit the fan for me in my senior year of high school. I was dating an emotionally abusive guy that absolutely ripped the normal-emoting block out of my mental Jenga. That’s when the really bad panic attacks started. The most memorable of which came during the last hour of my day in high school, sitting in my expository writing class. I had just been excoriated by my boyfriend a few hours prior and all of sudden, during a PowerPoint on grammar, I started getting a tight, scratchy pain in my chest. My heart was racing, my mind wouldn’t, couldn’t, stop going over every word he had said, what I had “done wrong”. In the middle of that classroom, I started sobbing.

Up until that moment, I had been the “permanently cheerful” teacher’s pet with the laser focus on academic excellence. It felt like my world was crashing down around my ears and I just couldn’t hold the misery at bay any longer, through no choice of my own.

I thought the breakup later that summer would fix my problems as I went off to college. Turns out, that’s not how anxiety and depression work. My body just gave up on any attempt at health. Throughout my entire first semester I spent a total of two weeks not on antibiotics. After dozens and dozens of panic attacks like that first one in English, it started to dawn on me: this is not normal. That’s when I took my first trip to a therapist. Finally, I had an explanation—and a diagnosis: I was clinically depressed and suffering from generalized anxiety and panic disorders.

Within a year of my initial diagnosis I was put on antidepressants. It is hard to understate the difference pre and post medication—simply put, the non stop worrying and doubt faded to a manageable whisper. I got my mind back. As a diabetic, I knew that my body just wasn’t capable of managing this aspect of chemical balance for me, so it was time for me to intervene. In the diabetes case, my pancreas just didn’t produce insulin. In the anxiety/depression case, it was a lack of serotonin. I get to be the one to step in and consciously make the choice to help my body feel (more) normal, but it’s something that I have to actively choose. It’s not always an easy one.

Your story may look, feel, sound, BE extremely different. The most important thing is that you find help, in whatever form that it takes. Take care of you! 

By the way, this is just the beginning of the discussion. Stay tuned, hang in there. 😊